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Dazed and Confounded | A Very PMP Wedding

Dazed and Confounded


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II think I finally know how men feel. They supposedly think about relations about 19 times per day (no, not every seven seconds – that’s an urban legend. Here’s my source). Well, I’ve got men beat. I decided that yesterday I would count how many times I thought about the wedding. And my number? 31 times during the 16 hours I was awake. And women think men have one-track minds…

Plus, those 31 times I thought about the wedding didn’t count the time that I was actually working on it. As Justin said, “How are you going to keep track? –Actually, it will be easy. Your number will be one because you think about the wedding all day long.”

It’s true, I’m completely consumed with everything about the wedding. My head is filled with so many different little things that there isn’t room for anything else in there. I know what you’re thinking, “but Laurel, you have been using project management to plan your wedding. Why are you so preoccupied? You should be organized and prepared.”

The truth is I am organized and prepared. I’ve followed my schedule and completed most of the tasks on time if not early. There haven’t been any problems so my risk management has been on track and I haven’t turned into a bridezilla (at least in my opinion) so I’ve kept inline with all my bliss factors – so far. All-in-all using project management has prepared me as best as it possibly could for the months leading up to the wedding.

So what’s going on? Apparently I have something called bride brain. Don’t worry, it’s very normal and curable (will decline over time after the wedding is over).

Bride Brain
A less invasive, but more expensive version of a frontal lobotomy. Experienced by most brides, as they enter a catatonic state which renders them incapable of sustaining any thought or conversation that does not involve cake, caterers, flowers, wedding dress designers, Chinese wedding dress knockoff designers, updo’s, hair pieces, color schemes, wedding themes, and personalized M&M’s.

Bride Brain symptoms include, but are not limited to, driving erratically because they can’t stop staring at their shiny diamond ring; being amused by the resentment of all their single girlfriends, rewinding songs several hundred times while imagining themselves walking down the aisle, and starvation induced bitchiness which is generally followed by late night binging at a Dairy Queen. (Note that this can only occur outside of the bride’s native geographic area, where they can’t possibly run into anyone they know).

Symptoms are ordinarily well controlled with valium, alcohol and endless hours of watching youtube “first dance” videos.

Definition from urbandictionary.com

However true bride brain may be (and it definitely is) I wish there was a medical/scientific explanation for whatever is going on in my head. The best I could find was an article called Got Bridal Brain? How to Cope with the Biggest Pre-Wedding Stressers. It suggests, “Months of stress, detail-wrangling, and heightened emotions can temporarily change your brain’s biochemistry, leaving you distracted, indecisive, and irritable.”

Hmmm…that leaves something to be desired. We brides-to-be need some scientific proof to show our fiancés. Anyone out there interested in performing a study?

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