The Wedding Planning Crew

SSince I have been engaged I occasionally hear from friends and acquaintances that their mother or mother-in-law to be ran away with the wedding planning. Sometimes the bride was more hands-off and ok with it and other times it created problems. Probably the most vivid picture I have in my head of this happening is from another great movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. Poor Toula ends up with hideous bridesmaid dresses and invitations, is forced to wear a meringue looking dress, too much makeup,  and bad hair thanks to her Greek Mom, Aunts, and Cousins.

There are many people involved in planning a wedding with varying personalities. No doubt it is really hard to please all of them. So far I have found this the most difficult part of planning my wedding. I have to admit I am pretty lucky that not one family member has been overbearingly involved or pushy (yet). My Mom has been helpful just when I have needed her to be and my mother-in-law to be has been hands off because she wouldn’t ever stick her nose in anyone else’s business. Even so, there are still things that family members, the wedding party, and vendors will all have input on because they are the ones helping you with your wedding either by financial means, assistance with planning and DIY projects, or actually being in the wedding.

These people are what I like to call the wedding planning crew. There is no way of getting around having it; it is just a reality of planning a wedding. So, without further ado here is my wedding planning crew list:

1. Wedding planner (project manager)
The mastermind of the wedding. Is the ultimate influencer and decision maker. Need I say more?
WHO: Me – Laurel

2. Nuptial funds providers (project sponsors)
Those who provide the dinero and thus play a major role in the scope of the wedding. They will think they have major decision making powers but don’t let them control your every move. Do take their opinions seriously though. They are the ones paying for everything after all.
WHO: My Mom and Dad (Rocky & Laird), Justin’s Mom and Dad (Denise & Mark), and Bride and Groom (Laurel & Justin)

3. Bridal and groomal contributors (stakeholders)
Watch out, this can be anyone who may be affected by the decisions you make – like your bridesmaids and the dresses you choose for them. They most definitely have influencing power.
WHO: Bride and Groom (Laurel & Justin), Parents of Bride and Groom (Rocky, Laird, Denise, & Mark), Wedding Party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, involved family and friends), and vendors.

4. Matrimonial squad (project team)
Similar to the bridal and groomal contributors, anyone who is involved in helping plan the bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers, rehearsal, and wedding. Finally, a group that has no power unless you give it to them or they are evil.
WHO: Bride and Groom (Laurel & Justin), Parents of Bride and Groom (Rocky, Laird, Denise, & Mark), Wedding Party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, involved family and friends), and vendors

Of course your list may be different. You might be paying for your wedding yourself so your parents won’t be as influential or maybe you don’t want you friends helping you plan anything. The great thing is, you have choice here. I have choice here, I want my family and friends to be involved and I appreciate the help. The catch is, the more people I get involved, the more people I have to please. In the end though it is Justin’s and my wedding so we may have to lay down the law at times. I am sure everyone will understand, right?


  1. Dad/Laird
    Jun 5, 2011

    I do take exception and do expect to make all the decisions including the color schemes, the dresses for the women and the chartreuse tuxes for the men (I don’t even know what color chartreuse is).
    Also the venue is very important to me. I choose Coopertown, NY at the Baseball Hall of Fame and I will accept no other.

    • lcagan
      Jun 6, 2011

      Haha, maybe Justin and I should get married at Coors Field. Would that be a good compromise?

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